Best & Worst Breakfast Cereals
07/21/2010
In my office the other day, we were all debating breakfast cereals during lunch. Here are my lists:
Best Cereals: Sugary
- Cap’n Crunch’s Crunch Berries (though I actually like all the Cap’n Crunch varieties)
- Corn Pops
- Sugar Bear (Golden Crisp, Honey Smacks, whatever)
- Cinnamon Toast Crunch
- Honey Comb
Best Cereals: Mild/Non-Sugary
- Frosted Mini-Wheats
- Corn Flakes
- Cinnamon Life
- Grape Nuts
- Kirkland (Costco) Raisin Bran
Worst Cereals
- Crispix (Only because of a traumatic experience from childhood–I used to love these)
- Kix
- Wheetabix
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I agree that Kix is disgusting. I seem to recall that I’ve eaten Wheetabix before and it was also disgusting. I haven’t had a traumatic experience with Crispix, so I still love it, but I understand how traumatic experiences go and therefore cannot argue with you making it your #1 worst.
I don’t really like sugary cereals, so I can’t talk about them with any authority. Frosted Mini-Wheats are fine, but I prefer unfrosted wheat.
Kix rulz! The only thing better than Kix is Rice Krispies.
Actually, the best cereal ever was Post Fortified Oat Flakes. They haven’t made them for 25 or more years, though. I miss that.
madhousewife,
So I guess you’re not a fan of Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs?
Ardis,
Your cereal preferences map closely to my wife’s. Ewww.
Frosted Flakes, no contest.
I was such a Frosted Mini-Wheats fan for so long that recently I’ve had to diversify just to get a little variety.
On your list, I iike Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Cinnamon Life. (And I sort of have a guilty pleasure of Fruity Pebbles, but I rarely actually get them.)
My son turned me on to Raisan Bran Crunch. Way better than regular Raisan Bran.
I like granola type cereals. And I really love Cracklin’ Oat Bran.
Is it a coincidence that this post shows up on the Mormon Archipelago portal right above “Life Without a Colon” from the Exponent blog?
Maybe I’ll trade in my Cocoa Krispies for Raisin Bran.
Kevin–that’s right. I have probably eaten Frosted Mini-Wheats more over the past 5 years than all the others combined.
Sugary
1. Lucky Charms
2. Golden Grahams
3. Cocoa Puffs
Mild
1. Raisin Nut Bran
2. Frosted Mini-Wheats
3. Newman’s Own Blueberry Crunch
Worst Cereals
1. Trix
2. Fruity Pebbles
3. Rice Crispies
B.Russ,
Are Trix even a legitimate cereal? I always thought it was something a whore does for money…or candy!
For dear Hunter, who fears retribution from his coworkers, I will stipulate that the hyperlink above is entirely safe for work.
Actually, Hunter just informed me that he hasn’t seen Arrested Development anyway, so it’s all pointless.
Actually, I can’t believe that your lists don’t include the best breakfast cereal evar: wheat berries, babee.
Oatmeal Squares are the best. Hands down.
Oatmeal Squares are very delicious; I just haven’t demonstrated my love for them with my wallet enough to include them in a Top list.
So, in other words, Hunter is the reason that the best TV show in history was pre-maturely cancelled. Thanks a lot Hunter, yeah, Wheat Berries, lot of good that will do us now that you KILLED MICHAEL BLUTH!
Cheerios is all I need. Regular, not honey nut. Generics are no good.
No kidding, B. Russ.
After I mocked him for a moment, he said that he had seen it a couple of times, and then proceeded to compare it to (takes deep breath) 30 Rock and concluded with “It’s just not that funny.”
It was in that moment that I knew Hunter was a lost soul, and any further effort to convert him was futile. His heart is too dark.
Oooh, Oatmeal Squares…I like those, too.
Favorite Cereals:
1. Frosted Mini-Wheats
2. Costco Raisin Bran
3. Honey Nut Cheerios
What I eat:
1. Uncle Johns Rough Cut Rolled Oats (My wife’s influence, takes 20 minutes to cook. I add a tablespoon of chocolate chips and brown sugar to make it palatable)
Maybe we could get Dot Com and Grizz to go visit Hunter and teach him the error of his ways.
I understand Hunter, its hard to tell if something is funny if there isn’t a laugh track to cue me.
That Cinnamon Toast Crunch is not number 1…and is beaten by cut-the-roof-of-your-mouth cereal is quite disappointing. I suppose the reason economics is the dismal science because cinnamon toast crunch’s superiority is the taste economists cannot see.
Andrew,
Don’t make me ban you.
/!\
I see they’ve taught you well…
Oh come now–don’t I even get a “lolz, well played” for that?
yeah, let’s go with that. gg no re.
Economists’ methodology in cereals is quite developed. (see, for example, Bresnahan, Timothy. “The Apple-Cinnamon Cheerios War: Response to Jerry Hausman’s Reply.” Stanford working paper.) I think scholarly consensus has settled on Honey Bunches of Oats as best.
*Honey Bunches of Oats*? What is this I don’t even…
Brian-A,
Tyler Cowen of Marginal Revolution once declared jihad on raisin bran in favor of spelt flakes, if I recall.
A little part of me died that day.
Is there no other soul whose grandma fried KIX in butter and salted them like popcorn?? Otherwise, I totally don’t eat cereal. Neither do my kids. I know, I know…
Tracy,
I think I get it–you hate your children. I mean, that’s the only reason I can think of for banninating cereal from a home.
There are three people who have a luxury suite reserved in heaven, and the chief among them is the inventor of breakfast cereal.
(The other two are the inventor of ice cream and the inventor of soft, two-ply toilet paper.)
Really, Scott B.? Really? I mean, really.
[sighs]
Anyhow, I was at the video store last night and actually held a copy of Arrested Development in my hands. I almost decided to give it a second chance. But in the end, I couldn’t bring myself to waste more of my time. [shakes head] Arrested Development . . .
Ban him!
Crucify him!
He turned me into a newt!
Last October I promised my family that I’d prepare a special Halloween dinner. My wife came home from work to find a table set up with Count Chocula AND Frankenberry. The kids loved it, but I thought she might divorce me for a while there. I couldn’t even find Boo berry for this feast- what a disappointment!!
Oh, and Frosted Mini-Wheats is the offical cereal of the righteous. It’s even endorsed by D&C 89!! Meanwhile, I hear in outer darkness they feed you grape nuts without milk. Yuk!
Burn him!
John Scherer–The Holy Trinity of Ghost Cereals on one dinner table is something few have dared to dream of. I weep bitterly for your unsuccessful attempt to provide such for the children. For the children!
In order to both condemn myself and absolve myself, I will concede that whenever I go to Starbucks (I can see the masses calling for my burning), I get a strawberries & cream blended creme with toffeenut.
Tastes just like crunchberries but is fit for the mouth of the Pea Princess.
Dude, I WISH they would eat cold cereal- it would make my life easier!
Hey. Don’t hate the Kix. I love Wheaties. Except when I think how they’re made (goat vomit).
Scott B. – Grape Nuts are neither grapes, not nuts. They are an abomination.
Cookie Crisp is the best sugary serial
Generic Frosted mini wheeties is the best mild cereal
Bananbix, made by the people who made wheetabix is the worst cereal, but only when you remember that grape nuts is not cereal. Grape nuts is Soylent Green.
And Typos are for idiots.
The best thing about Honey Bunches of Oats is that you can call them Crunchy Bunnies and Goats, which I always do.
Same with GoLean Crunch, if you pronounce it Go-Le-An Crunch -> MONgolian Crunch -> Dried Yak Bits, which is actually fairly descriptive of their appearance.
I’m going to go eat some of each of these RIGHT NOW. I’m not even kidding.
I once had a wildly irreverent friend who used to make Top Ten lists (ala David Letterman) in sacrament meeting at our singles ward to keep us all awake. My favorite was his “Top Ten Rejected Cereals” list that he made one Fast Sunday. Sadly I don’t remember a single one except the top cereal: Grape Ape Nuts. I never laughed so hard so quietly in my life.
And then there was that girl who got up and bore testimony about how awful we were for laughing at other people’s testimonies. I’m not sure if it would have made her feel better or not to know what we were actually laughing at.
The best part? That friend is now the principal of a Jr. High, and a Stake President. Grape Ape Nuts. HA!
This post reminded me of my favorite part of Cryptonomicon, where the author dwells (for pages) on the correct way to serve and eat Cap’n Crunch. It’s brilliant.