Dead Seriously.

I am doing a first today–I will be attending a book signing Bill Simmons is holding at Disneyland to promote his new book, The Book of Basketball. I am utterly ignorant as to how a person is supposed to behave at such an event, but from reading Simmons’ article on ESPN.com the other day regarding earlier book tour stops, I can infer that asking him to sign my chest is not likely to be considered appropriate.

My friend Steve–who will be attending a different tour stop later this month–and I were talking this morning on the phone about our general giddiness in getting to meet Simmons, and how we might propel ourselves into stardom by pulling off some form of a stunt that would merit inclusion in one of Simmons’ upcoming articles. Unfortunately, a good chunk of stories that Simmons recaps in his articles are of the sort that a normal Mormon guy from SoCal is unlikely to be a participant–usually crude jokes at bars or bragging about bedpost tallies or some such thing. That said, the only good idea we came up with actually relies on the fact that I am a Mormon, and Bill Simmons has often whined about Utah in his articles–in particular the fact that he was unable to get a decent beer in Utah during the Olympics (I wrote about that, sort of).

So here is the idea: I become the first Mormon to buy Bill Simmons a beer. I wait in line at the ESPN Zone where the signing is being held, and when our turn is nearly up, I order a cold one from the bar, and hand it to him while he signs my book. Then, next week, my buddy repeats this stunt.

Good idea? Bad idea? Utter rejection of the WoW?