Dead Seriously.

I mentioned a couple of posts ago that I might not be posting here very frequently for the next bit because I was working on a “special project” of sorts. The special project I spoke about was an invitation to guest blog at By Common Consent* for a week, and I’ve been writing a handful of posts ahead of time for that gig. I had planned to start posting there this week, but I decided to put it off until next week. So I’ll be around here for the rest of the week, though posting may still be erratic.

(I made this decision for a couple of reasons. First, another guest blogger started posting there yesterday, and because I’m a glory hog, I don’t want to share the (albeit temporary) limelight. Second, most of the Mormon blogs are inundated with Big Love talk these days, and, as one of the BCC authors suggested, I might be glad I just let that all blow over. Me = No Comment on Big Love.)

So I’ve had a week or two to mull things over and think about what kind of posts I want to poison the larger Mormon blogging community with, and what I think about being asked to post on a blog with the traffic and audience of BCC. A few of the thoughts running through my head are below:

1. Realizing that someone unexpected has read my blog makes me insecure. After receiving the invite, I made a quick scan of the bios over at BCC. Like I told one of the authors there, I think I can now add BCC as the second place on the planet–in addition to my LDS ward here in Irvine–where I constantly feel inferior because I only have a Master’s degree. I am so ashamed.

2. I’m actually quite excited and feel honored, if such a term is appropriate here. So should I tell my Mom? Or should I wait and see if I make a complete idiot out of myself first? Probably the latter.

3. You know that 80′s movie with Eric Stoltz (Keith) and Lea Thompson (Amanda)–Some Kind of Wonderful? It’s a true 80′s classic: The nerdy kid throws all of his savings into one single date with the popular girl, despite the fact that his tomboy best friend (Watts) is totally in love with him. On the night of the date, nerdy guy and pretty girl share several awkward moments before going to a party that the other cool kids are holding. After they arrive, it becomes apparent that the head cool guy–and Amanda’s ex-boyfriend (Hardy)–just wanted to set him up to make him look bad. It all turned out okay, though, because Keith happened to be in with the biker gang crowd, who showed up at the last minute and made Hardy wet his pants. In the end, nerdy guy realizes that Watts really wants some diamond earrings, so he hooks her up and they kiss while the credits roll and a wacky 80′s synth version of Elvis Presley’s “I can’t help falling in love with you” begins to play.

What is the point of all this? Well, suppose that this movie is playing out in my blog life now? I’m the nerdy Keith who blogs alone in my quiet corner of the Mormon blogging community, and now I’ve been invited to a party by the cool kids (BCC). I’m worried about this, because when the cool kids start to laugh at me, I won’t have a crew of tough guys to bust into the comment section and make the nay-sayers soil themselves. This guy said he’s got my back, but I have my doubts about his physical presence. Am I going to just end up wishing that I’d stuck with my tomboy girlfriend own blog? What if I like Hardy’s the BCC crew and am sad to leave afterward, knowing that I can no longer bask in group identification? Will I be forced to continue daydreaming about a group blog comprised strictly of Mormon Economists?

4. The Dark Knight is the worst movie ever created. It was mind-numbingly boring, over-acted, over-hyped, too long, and was probably produced and financed by Satan himself. Yes, you heard me: Beelzebub, the Son of the Morning, was almost certainly behind the whole thing.**

5. I am crappy at manufacturing posts ahead of time. Almost every single post on this blog was written straight from the hip–no planning in advance. The result of that style is that many of my posts are half-baked, logically incoherent, and shallow. But hey–shallow and logically flawed is just how I roll. However, when I look at the kind of posts the big kids write, and I get all nervous inside. Some of them actually look like they were written on purpose. Like the authors actually thought about the topic. Some of them even have sources and footnotes! (Factual accuracy is pretty low on my priority list in general; I use footnotes, too, but only for snarky one-liners directed at BYU.)

So that’s it. For better or for worse, I’m going to write something and make people at BCC read it. Or at least click multiple times on their mouse to avoid it, anyway. If the first post or two goes well enough and I’m not horribly embarrassed, then I’ll post a link here indicating when my posts are up. (Here’s an idea–maybe I could liveblog over here while people leave devastatingly cruel–or devastatingly few–comments on my posts there!)

*If you’re unfamiliar with the Mormon blog world, then suffice it to say that By Common Consent is at the center of it all. There may be some debate about what constitutes the biggest, baddest, most influential, and most prestigious Mormon blog, but BCC would certainly be a leading candidate for any of those distinctions under almost any criteria. My only beef with it is the excess number of BYU grads with perma status. I am more than happy to dilute that pool, if only until they give me the boot after a week.

**Not really. I’d explain, but it would ruin a great joke that basically no one will get.