Comments on: Socioeconomic Divisions in Mormon Wards part 1, or, How do I Magnify My Calling? http://deadseriously.net/2009/01/06/socioeconomic-divisions-in-mormon-wards-part-1-or-how-do-i-magnify-my-calling/ Economics, Sports, & Culture, all Covered in a Fine Sheen of Mormonism Wed, 25 Apr 2012 03:55:31 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.com/ By: Matt http://deadseriously.net/2009/01/06/socioeconomic-divisions-in-mormon-wards-part-1-or-how-do-i-magnify-my-calling/#comment-1045 Mon, 15 Jun 2009 09:36:57 +0000 http://marginallyaware.wordpress.com/2009/01/06/socioeconomic-divisions-in-mormon-wards-part-1-or-how-do-i-magnify-my-calling/#comment-1045 Your Stake President (who I know personally) should take the lead and split the ward. I'm looking forward to a new Quail Hill (or Turtle Rock) Ward.

]]> By: Emily R http://deadseriously.net/2009/01/06/socioeconomic-divisions-in-mormon-wards-part-1-or-how-do-i-magnify-my-calling/#comment-1026 Wed, 01 Apr 2009 20:10:00 +0000 http://marginallyaware.wordpress.com/2009/01/06/socioeconomic-divisions-in-mormon-wards-part-1-or-how-do-i-magnify-my-calling/#comment-1026 My husband is a student, and I’m a YP, and we’ve sort of assigned ourselves to be the Ward Welcoming Committee. Nearly every week we invite a family over for Sunday dinner. Generally we pick people that are a lot like us (although we tend to prefer befriending childless couples – they can stay out later), but we’ve started to stretch ourselves into the mature crowd. And we have a very small house that smells faintly of diapers.

That said, I have no idea how to encourage/enforce friendliness in others. If only everyone were a little more like me. (sigh!)

[5'6", 155 lbs.]

]]> By: Scott http://deadseriously.net/2009/01/06/socioeconomic-divisions-in-mormon-wards-part-1-or-how-do-i-magnify-my-calling/#comment-770 Wed, 25 Feb 2009 08:19:00 +0000 http://marginallyaware.wordpress.com/2009/01/06/socioeconomic-divisions-in-mormon-wards-part-1-or-how-do-i-magnify-my-calling/#comment-770 Kittywaymo–

Thank you for your high praise! Do you mean that you are/were a journalist/newscaster? If so, then my blushing just went from pink to red!

I agree with basically everything you said about cliques in wards–they can be so destructive to the spirituality and, ironically, the cohesiveness of the ward.

And I need to hear the story on that Bishop’s wife sometime!

]]> By: Anonymous http://deadseriously.net/2009/01/06/socioeconomic-divisions-in-mormon-wards-part-1-or-how-do-i-magnify-my-calling/#comment-767 Wed, 25 Feb 2009 03:47:00 +0000 http://marginallyaware.wordpress.com/2009/01/06/socioeconomic-divisions-in-mormon-wards-part-1-or-how-do-i-magnify-my-calling/#comment-767 I thoroughly enjoyed your “breakdown” of ward demo’s.

As a Journalist/Newscaster, I think you have excellent writing skills. It was a delight to read something that rings true without the bitterness, but find instead.. actual humor! On a serious note, I do wish wards would be less cliquey and more inviting to strangers and ward members alike. My husband (a Physician, therefore we fit in the “young professional” category). and I find it difficult to find friendships, because our kids are out of the house, we travel/have money but don’t flaunt it (at least I don’t THINK we flaunt itLOL) Being from NY, I miss the NY wards (live in UT) down to earth, the Bp’s wife smoking in the girls bathroom (true story) you know, real people being REAL.. OK I’m highly against smoking, but I just love down to earth people, ya know? Thank you. Love, Kittywaymo:)

PS I would love the BIG LOVE characters to move into my ward, I’d be good friends with all of them, especially, Lois and Marlene!

]]> By: Ryan http://deadseriously.net/2009/01/06/socioeconomic-divisions-in-mormon-wards-part-1-or-how-do-i-magnify-my-calling/#comment-624 Sat, 24 Jan 2009 08:25:00 +0000 http://marginallyaware.wordpress.com/2009/01/06/socioeconomic-divisions-in-mormon-wards-part-1-or-how-do-i-magnify-my-calling/#comment-624 “It mostly involves playing with toy cars and trains, screaming for Mommy, and hiding in the corner so as to conceal that you just pooped in your pants.”

And that’s just the *leaders*!

Bah-dum-bump!

Thanks, I’ll be here all week…

On topic, our ward was regularly around 600, but it was long known that it would split on a very clear geographical boundary (one half was the growing half), and I think people went out of their way to not get too involved with the ‘other half’, just to not get too attached.

I miss the big ward, so many good people are not in the ward anymore.

Ryan

]]> By: Scott http://deadseriously.net/2009/01/06/socioeconomic-divisions-in-mormon-wards-part-1-or-how-do-i-magnify-my-calling/#comment-603 Tue, 13 Jan 2009 19:13:00 +0000 http://marginallyaware.wordpress.com/2009/01/06/socioeconomic-divisions-in-mormon-wards-part-1-or-how-do-i-magnify-my-calling/#comment-603 @ Rena,

Thanks for your comment. I NEVER stop reading the comments!

Age, life stage, and relative location are socioeconomic factors–in fact, these are the very factors I was referring to. I think that a lot of people interpreted that term in the post as being “wealth”, but that is only one of many factors.

As for the other stuff, see part 2. I discussed most of the other things you mention there.

You are correct: My wife is awesome.

]]> By: Rena http://deadseriously.net/2009/01/06/socioeconomic-divisions-in-mormon-wards-part-1-or-how-do-i-magnify-my-calling/#comment-602 Tue, 13 Jan 2009 19:00:00 +0000 http://marginallyaware.wordpress.com/2009/01/06/socioeconomic-divisions-in-mormon-wards-part-1-or-how-do-i-magnify-my-calling/#comment-602 Scott–

Wow. Popular post. I agree with you that our ward does seem to be divided. However, I think it has to do more with age/time of life that with socio-economic status. Of course, those of us students find it very easy to be cliquey because we live so close to each other. We’re also all financially challenged to one degree or another and we all have little kids. So we tend to meet and chat in play group, Music Makers, and just around student housing.

I do, however, feel just as comfortable around those young professionals with young kids, even if their apartments include dishwashers and laundry hook-ups. I have a tougher time getting to know those without children or those whose children are teenagers. Our paths simply don’t cross, unless they serve in junior primary with me.

I have found that going to the RS interest groups has made a difference. I go to the book group and have gotten to know several ORCS fairly well and really enjoy chatting with them. I even feel comfortable addressing them by their first names!

I agree with Miles about not knowing our bishop at all, though. The only time we have a conversation with him is during tithing settlement, and the week we signed up for it he was out of town so we met with Bro. Bramwell.

If you’ve stopped reading comments and moved on with your life, I understand. I do have to say that the women who avoid getting their picture taken by B are crazy! She makes all of us glow.

]]> By: Kimberly http://deadseriously.net/2009/01/06/socioeconomic-divisions-in-mormon-wards-part-1-or-how-do-i-magnify-my-calling/#comment-597 Mon, 12 Jan 2009 16:18:00 +0000 http://marginallyaware.wordpress.com/2009/01/06/socioeconomic-divisions-in-mormon-wards-part-1-or-how-do-i-magnify-my-calling/#comment-597 I really liked this blog posting. This is definitely an extremely difficult subject. I am a married student, without any children. I am often overlooked because my husband and I have been in four different wards and we’ve been married for 3 years. We were even in a ward once for nine months and when we were leaving the bishop didn’t know who we were. We are often randomly placed into callings because we are not “permanent – forever” members of the ward. My most recent ward is quite abnormally small and it is where we’ve had the most luck in feeling noticed.
I don’t think that there’s one answer to the problem. Sinse I am aware of the fact that my husband and I are childless, non-permanent, young members I know that I have to be the one who has to make ALL of the effort. I’m OK with that. It really helps when wards are smaller.
I would think if you could ask to teach a couple combined lessons (i.e. 5th sunday of the month) and maybe use activities that use groups (that you pre-make)and kind of force everyone to get to know eachother better. Use humor and fun, that is what breaks the ice when it comes to socioeconomic barriers.
I once asked a couple over for dinner that I did not see myself normally asking over. So I got a “fun” game and once we started playing and laughing all the “differences” were forgotten. You have to use humor, laughter and fun to break those first rigid walls. all of of relate to laughter, old, young, married, not-married, student, retired….
You got the drift.
I know this might not be an ideal use of a lesson time. But, you must encourage unity and friendship amongst the members, and really you could talk about it all day long and nothing would work. If you put them in an activity they will learn how great their “neighbor” is from experience!

Kim

]]> By: Scott http://deadseriously.net/2009/01/06/socioeconomic-divisions-in-mormon-wards-part-1-or-how-do-i-magnify-my-calling/#comment-596 Sat, 10 Jan 2009 23:05:00 +0000 http://marginallyaware.wordpress.com/2009/01/06/socioeconomic-divisions-in-mormon-wards-part-1-or-how-do-i-magnify-my-calling/#comment-596 @ Allie–
Several people have mentioned dinner groups as a possibility as well, and I think this is probably one of the better ideas. Hopefully it takes.

@ Emily–
Thanks for the kudos. Without question, service is a key ingredient to any improvement here, and finding creative ways for members to serve one another is exactly what I’m hoping to get out of this whole discussion.
As a challenge to your own comment–did you really never look at people through any kind of a socioeconomic lens when you were a missionary? I sure did, and I think it was vital to do so. Consider Alma 32–his great speech on faith was couched entirely in the context of socioeconomic differences–the poor and downtrodden vs. those who booted them from the synagogue. I ALWAYS tried to adjust my discussions as a missionary to fit the individual circumstances of those I was teaching–and socioeconomic factors were certainly one of those.

@ Anonymous–
How do you know I’m talking about the HH ward? I never said that… :)
But you hit the nail on the head–it’s not just the size that is causing the awkwardness; size simply exacerbates the SE divisions.

@Tim–
“When is this ward going to get split?” has recently passed “I can’t remember what General Authority said this, but…” as the 4th most commonly heard sentence on Sundays.

]]> By: Tim http://deadseriously.net/2009/01/06/socioeconomic-divisions-in-mormon-wards-part-1-or-how-do-i-magnify-my-calling/#comment-593 Sat, 10 Jan 2009 15:12:00 +0000 http://marginallyaware.wordpress.com/2009/01/06/socioeconomic-divisions-in-mormon-wards-part-1-or-how-do-i-magnify-my-calling/#comment-593 I linked here from Mormon Mentality. Very funny post.
I think the only solution for a ward like that is to split it…and then split each new ward again. 600 people? My favorite wards have had 100 – 200 active members. More than that and too many people get lost and fall through the cracks.
I lived in Palo Alto for about a year and, even though I was in the singles ward, I saw how the regular ward functioned a little bit. Some really amazing members live there. Spiritual giants. It was quite interesting to see the lower class mingle with the multi-millionaires/billionaires…
I remember attending an open house of some sort. They held these open houses on a regular basis on Sunday at a wealthy member’s home, and invited various people (largely less actives, investigators, new members, etc.) for socializing. (I was neither less active, nor an investigator, but I was somehow also invited). A great example of reaching out to those who may not feel like they belong.

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